Tuesday, February 15, 2005
COSMOPOLI TOM 2/15/2005
LAST MINUTE EYE FOR THE ROMANTIC GUY
With hours left on Valentine's Day, you never know, she might just
enjoy a subscription to Maxim magazine.
So she can get wardrobe ideas ... or "unwardrobe" ideas. "Does this
bra make my breasts look fat?" They never ask that.
And if you buy her lingerie from the dollar store ... take the tags
and logos off. Go ahead, spluge and spend the extra penny and get the
higher quality goods tahn can be found at a 99 cent store. Where else
outside the home state do they sell the official Green Bay Packers
teddies and matching garters.
Dollar stores are like K-mart ... but organized : blank 60 minute
casettes, bathrobes and monkey wrenches in the same aisle? No
problem.
GENIUS LOVES COMPANY
It's odd knowing a lot of stuff, people ask me odd questions like ...
How do I pass a drug test if the last time I did pot was January 26th?
(Gee, lemme type that into Google while you wait.) Where can I score
methemphetamines? (Dunno, dont need to). How would you type the lyrics
to the "Andy Griffith Show" theme song? (Well, it does have lyrics
about fishing and not just Ron Howard whistling). These are all actual
questions I've gotten in the last 3 days.
Actually the question "Was where can I get meth; Do you have any; and
do you know people who like to do meth, drink and have multi day sex
binges?"
That answer would be ... California. But thank you for moving to South
Dakota. Or another possible answer from the Beatles' "Magical Mystery
Tour" album: "Your Mother
PHRASES YOU DON'T EVER WANT TO HEAR YOUR MOTHER SAY
"What does the word "zeitgeist" mean? It's in this article I'm reading
on Tantric Sex."
Thought #1: Please let that be the only question you have about the
article.
Thought #2: Please let it be an article about Sting.
At 71, I'm pretty sure she's not reading Cosmo, so probably "Ladies'
Home Journal" or "Bad Housekeeping." Hopefully not "The Oprah
Magazine" either.
LAST MINUTE EYE FOR THE ROMANTIC GUY
With hours left on Valentine's Day, you never know, she might just
enjoy a subscription to Maxim magazine.
So she can get wardrobe ideas ... or "unwardrobe" ideas. "Does this
bra make my breasts look fat?" They never ask that.
And if you buy her lingerie from the dollar store ... take the tags
and logos off. Go ahead, spluge and spend the extra penny and get the
higher quality goods tahn can be found at a 99 cent store. Where else
outside the home state do they sell the official Green Bay Packers
teddies and matching garters.
Dollar stores are like K-mart ... but organized : blank 60 minute
casettes, bathrobes and monkey wrenches in the same aisle? No
problem.
GENIUS LOVES COMPANY
It's odd knowing a lot of stuff, people ask me odd questions like ...
How do I pass a drug test if the last time I did pot was January 26th?
(Gee, lemme type that into Google while you wait.) Where can I score
methemphetamines? (Dunno, dont need to). How would you type the lyrics
to the "Andy Griffith Show" theme song? (Well, it does have lyrics
about fishing and not just Ron Howard whistling). These are all actual
questions I've gotten in the last 3 days.
Actually the question "Was where can I get meth; Do you have any; and
do you know people who like to do meth, drink and have multi day sex
binges?"
That answer would be ... California. But thank you for moving to South
Dakota. Or another possible answer from the Beatles' "Magical Mystery
Tour" album: "Your Mother
PHRASES YOU DON'T EVER WANT TO HEAR YOUR MOTHER SAY
"What does the word "zeitgeist" mean? It's in this article I'm reading
on Tantric Sex."
Thought #1: Please let that be the only question you have about the
article.
Thought #2: Please let it be an article about Sting.
At 71, I'm pretty sure she's not reading Cosmo, so probably "Ladies'
Home Journal" or "Bad Housekeeping." Hopefully not "The Oprah
Magazine" either.
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